Saturday, February 23, 2008

Remembering Mom

Mom died last year on February 24 at 4:24 AM. This time last year we were collected in her hospital room watching her breathing and body rapidly deteriorating.

The pain and sadness from her not being here is less constant. But it still is miserable to not have her to talk to, share life moments with or go to for advice. I miss her terribly.

Thanks to Mom for…
  • Making the best Halloween costumes ever!
  • Loving me even when I was an obnoxious and ungrateful teenager
  • Teaching me it is sometimes ok to make a scene to stand up for what is right
  • Being the best role model and mentor for being a strong, confident, yet feminine woman
  • Fighting ferociously for us kids whenever you needed to
Great memories of…
  • Waking up on the weekends to the smell of breakfast cooking and Mom playing the piano
  • Arguing with Mom when I was a kid about which of us loved each other more. Kind of went like this: “I love you this much!” As I opened my arms open wide. “Well, I love you THIS much!” Mom would say as she opened her arms super wide. “Well, I love you from here to the Moon and back again!” I would respond. “Well, I love you from here to the Sun and back again! She would answer. It would go on like that until one of us burst out laughing and then we’d share a big hug.
  • Shopping and finding ‘the’ best deals
  • So many Christmas traditions!
  • Working on stuff on the computer together
  • Helping her paint and wallpaper countless rooms over the years
  • Mom hugs.
Just to name a few.

I love you, Mom!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ditching Pain

A recent article on from talks about the importance of letting go of what bothers us... recognizing what hurts and then focusing our attention elsewhere. It really hit home in regards to the process that my family has been going through for the past year adjusting to the loss of Mom. Fighting the pain makes it worse and wallowing in it is just plain miserable. Acknowledging it and then letting go is definitely the path that hurts the least.

It also applies to smaller challenges in life too, though. I've been a bit baffled at times by the Buddhist notion of 'attachment' and how some interpret it to mean they should avoid relationships and/or situations in life that will lead to pain when lost. I wonder if it really is about embracing exactly those relationships and situations... and then not being attached to the pain when they eventually end. Just a thought.

I like the line at the end, "By not trying to control the uncontrollable, we get what we thought we'd get if we were in control."